By allowing myself to be vulnerable I can already feel a more real and sincere kind of support.
I don’t blame or hold anything against my family. I love them all and respect them.
Where to start...where to start? Maybe I will start with the awesome bike ride I had yesterday. We had a glorious spring day and after procrastinating for quite a while I went for a ride in the afternoon. I rode about 8 km over to the steepest hill in London and rode up and down it 10 times. I haven't really ridden my bike for four months and I discovered something really interesting. I found yesterday easier than I did last October when I did this same workout. That was when I was at the peak of my fitness. [...]
When I was 13, my mother was abducted by a gang of thugs, raped, beaten , and left for dead in a field outside town. My mom didn’t come home that night. That was unusual. Mom always came home, except that one time she got a D.U.I. I was in 8th Grade, and it was a Saturday. I laid around the house, watched TV, ate cereal. The door opened and mom scurried past. It was about noon. “I’m going to bed I need some quiet”, she said as she walked down the hall past the TV room. Around 6 pm [...]
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been what you’d call “extremely self-conscious”. I was always looking to find what people thought of me, where I stood and what impression I made. And when the beings around me weren’t as light and conscious as I’d hoped they were, and they judged me or themselves, I would go into weird worlds. Being around people became unbearable. I knew there was something terrible about me, and in every choice and every step, I felt wrong, wrong, wrong. I kept looking for what others were doing that made them successful, but couldn’t make that [...]
I had a huge awakening on that fateful day when pulling myself out of the smoking Lamborghini Murcielago… and that awakening started when I got off the phone to my father. Picture the scene. Stunning day at the Nurburgring in Germany, I jump in one of my dream cars, with a total stranger, off we go to fill up with fuel. 50mph….80mph….110mph!!! Adrenalin is pumping as I have no control, engine revs rising, 120mph….130mph… We hit a compression, the car went into a spin and the dream turns into an absolute nightmare then it happened. BANG. We hit a tree. [...]
Note from Jason: Please listen to Natalie's interview on The Better Human Show. Natalie is an inspiring human being whose story holds important lessons for us. She shows us that exposing our demons to the light is the best way to exorcise them from our lives forever. I was absolutely terrified to live without alcohol. It had become my best friend, my companion, my comfort, my band-aid for all the wounds I suffered and created. I was terrified that without alcohol I wouldn’t have any identity at all because I was always drinking to keep hiding in the shadows of [...]
This song is about the pain I went through for so long and the how I found my way back.. I grew up in a secular family. In what seemed like the blink of an eye I became strictly religious. It felt like my life had been torn from me overnight. My family was torn apart as well I couldn't do anything or resist it becauseI was terrified. All I've been taught is to live in fear of life itself. I should stay at home rather than actually live. I bought those lies and manipulations from my parents and teachers. From everyone. In time I [...]