Life is pretty great right now. It’s not without it’s stresses for sure, but overall it’s wonderful.

Melody has a skating competition in Chatham, Ontario this weekend. This will wrap up her first competitive skating season. She’s really enjoyed it and wants to do it again next year. I’m glad she’s found this. She’s very athletic although she often doesn’t see herself that way. Chloe and a friend might come down with us so it will be me surrounded by females. The story of my life 🙂

We will also be going back to Chatham on Sunday. We’ll be meeting Leslie, Cindy’s half-sister and her daughter. This will be the first time the girls and Tanja have met her. It will be the first time I have seen her in about 20 years. We’re going to lay flowers at Cindy’s grave. I’m mildly filled with dread about it – if you can be mildly filled with dread. Maybe if its mild, it’s not dread. Who knows. I’m never sure how I am going to react when I am standing at her grave. I’m Ok with whatever happens but it’s not knowing that I think about a lot beforehand.

It’s been almost six years since Cindy committed suicide. It’s amazing to think about all that has happened in that time. I look back on pictures of the girls from that period and they are so small. I sometimes think about what it would be like for Cindy to come back and see them now. Tanja has been Melody’s mother for longer than Cindy was and is close to that point with Chloe. So much has changed. I am such a different person. Time marches forward. Always.

Tanja and I spent our date night last night creating together. First we went for an awesome dinner at the Thai place around the corner from our house. I love having some nice places in our neighbourhood. They are literally just around the corner.  We came home and let our artistic content creator sides out.  I worked on a book proposal and she worked on reposting an amazing blog post from an Aussie mommy blogger.  She reached out to Constance, got her consent and posted the story.  Constance has a huge following so this is a coup for The Book of Open. Tanja has this way of making magic happen because she thinks in terms of possibilities.

  • I am grateful that I am feeling passion about life that I have never felt before.
  • I am grateful that my wife and girls are sharing in it with me.
  • I am grateful that I am vulnerable enough to be able to have a bit of a meltdown when I find everything overwhelming.  I have never had this much going on before and it’s a learning process.
  • I am grateful that people are helping me and I am helping them.  So many of them are people that I didn’t know just a few short months ago.
  • I am grateful that spring has sprung and I am getting on my bike again.
  • I am grateful for not drinking and continuing to share that journey with people.

My workouts are going well.  There is nothing really to report other than I’ve ridden my bike for about 100 km so far.  Just a few rides but my legs feel great.  I just need some dry weather and I’ll be rolling back and forth to work again.

And I got new glasses.  Thank god for that.  I’m back seeing life in HD and feel slightly less dorky while I am doing it.